Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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