I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize