Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
