thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
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Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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