ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.