Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong