Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You were trust falling into bushes