Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.