the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize