Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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