I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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