very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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