ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize