a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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