Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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