he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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