i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize