Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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