I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick