God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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