Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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