Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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