32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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