Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea