I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty