I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.