I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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