You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize