so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
