Kiss
Puke
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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