just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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