I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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