It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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