If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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