Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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