ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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