I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
