im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
