I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
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