I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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