Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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