I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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