That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize