i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
jump out the window naked night went bad
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize