Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me http://tfl.nu/xacv
  Replies (22) Good night (1344) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza http://tfl.nu/9pba
  Replies (7) Good night (3098) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it http://tfl.nu/7yht
  Replies (40) Good night (1234) Bad night (9308)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever. http://tfl.nu/jxfd
  Replies (14) Good night (5760) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3
  Replies (18) Good night (1764) Bad night (5014)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w
  Replies (2) Good night (2091) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME. http://tfl.nu/v341
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  You rock my world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I just smoked weed out of a baked potato. (309): You rock my world. http://tfl.nu/p2ud
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit? http://tfl.nu/uql2
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit. http://tfl.nu/r29h
  Replies (4) Good night (740) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng
  Replies (3) Good night (996) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow. http://tfl.nu/5cxp
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning. http://tfl.nu/qv31
  Replies (3) Good night (866) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck http://tfl.nu/pgzd
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (215)

Randomize