I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car