Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake

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  (704): Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake http://tfl.nu/8hsp
  Replies (8) Good night (652) Bad night (842)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  North Korea, Best Korea!

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  (307): North Korea, Best Korea! http://tfl.nu/xg9r
  Replies (11) Good night (994) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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  (586): you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e12h
  Replies (38) Good night (832) Bad night (6585)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

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  (972): You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried. http://tfl.nu/sffp
  Replies (88) Good night (9771) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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  (630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw
  Replies (20) Good night (4979) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

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  (510): You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink http://tfl.nu/uf46
  Replies (3) Good night (2896) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3022) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You almost married that.

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  (412): Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower. (1-412): You almost married that. http://tfl.nu/nlo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2469) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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  (301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b
  Replies (16) Good night (2927) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?

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  (812): Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver? http://tfl.nu/nssb
  Replies (5) Good night (1607) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.

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  (914): I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements. http://tfl.nu/p1je
  Replies (8) Good night (1445) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.

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  (239): Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest. http://tfl.nu/uwa9
  Replies (10) Good night (1487) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.

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  (720): You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work. http://tfl.nu/msxy
  Replies (0) Good night (273) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?

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  (918): I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far? http://tfl.nu/cfji
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are

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  (518): I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are http://tfl.nu/esmd
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (252)

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