I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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