Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.