I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
