I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.