Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police