lets start a swedish sibling band together
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.