Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks