I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations