Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
