This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize