I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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