At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
