I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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