Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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