that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize