please come you make the beer taste better
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize